I just finished reading another C.S. Lewis masterpiece, “A Grief Observed.” Originally he published it under a pseudonym, for many reasons I expect.
In this amazing book, just four chapters long, Lewis puts on paper what he thinks and feels after the death of his wife from cancer. Lewis, an incredibly brilliant apologist who became a Christian after years of atheism, allows a glimpse into the aftermath of this tragedy and writes in such a vulnerable style that the reader almost feels like he is intruding on his grief. In the end, it offers incredible insight into the process of grief, and something each one us will, or have, felt during our lives.
A few favorites:
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you.”
“Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.”
I loved the concept in Chapter Three of our human frailty in wishing our lost loved ones to return. As Lewis points out, this might be the greatest cruelty of all, as if they did return, they would only suffer death a second time. Very profound, yet lost on us during our times of struggle.
In the last chapter he also discusses an important truth. Lewis explains that we not only have a memory or impression of those we have lost, but those with which we share the same room. We think subconsciously that we have people figured out, and “he has to depart from it pretty widely before we even notice the fact.” If we really observe, the person’s actions and words are more likely to be far from our judgment. We don’t do that very well, do we- observe without judgment? “We all think we’ve got one another taped.”
Lewis also recounted that after several weeks, he started to become more aware of his departed wife as he progressively grieved less. God became more his focus than his enemy as well. He explained that God has to be our end, not the means to our end. In other words, the more he was able to focus on God as his center, the more he started to clearly remember his wife. Loving God and trusting in Him should be our main priority, not something we simply “do” to get to where we want to be. “If you’re approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you’re not really approaching Him at all.”
I am continually amazed at how god works for His good through each of us, and how the more I study, the less I realize I know. I look forward to a life full of continued learning about our Lord, and am thankful for the genius guidance people like C.S. Lewis left behind for us to find.
